“The need for a secure emotional connection with a partner, a connection that offers a safe haven and secure base, is the central theme of couple distress... The fear of isolation and loss is found in every human heart.” — Susan M. Johnson, Ph.D.
Intimate relationships are a powerful opportunity for personal growth and transformation. According to the ever-growing field of attachment theory, the key issue in relationship conflict is the security of the emotional bond between couples. When this emotional bond becomes uncertain, tenuous or threatened, it sets in motion a natural human response of separation distress. This response may range from mild to extreme, often causing partners to pursue and/or distance to manage the distress.
When you experience a loss of connection with your partner, it’s normal and natural to have some degree of emotional distress and reactivity. How you each cope with this distress is the heart of the matter. Most couples enter therapy worn-out and discouraged by negative cycles of conflict which include blame, attack, withdrawal, alienation, and disconnection. These misguided attempts to cope with upset and regain connection often cause couples to become hopeless and despairing.
If you feel distraught or unhappy about your relationship or you simply want to improve and enhance it in order to have greater intimacy, joy and pleasure, you may greatly benefit from couples therapy. Many couples I’ve worked with have found therapy to be an extremely rich and rewarding experience.
Working experientially, I draw on attachment and couples theory as well as somatic and mindfulness-based approaches to therapy to help couples find healthier ways of relating. I’ve worked extensively with couples for over 20 years, assisting them in experiencing more intimacy, authenticity and greater mutual admiration and respect. I also help couples restore trust and rebuild connection and closeness after the painful process of an affair.
Providing a safe and respectful environment, I can help you:
- Uncover hidden longings that lie beneath recurring dynamics
- Rebuild trust, safety and friendship in the relationship
- Express deep or difficult feelings with clarity, presence and respect
- Feel seen, known and loved using shared, deep listening skills
- Bear witness to and honor each other’s vulnerabilities and pain
- Maintain healthy connection with your partner without losing yourself
- Stay open to and interested in learning about yourself and your partner
- Dispel negative and limiting beliefs that sabotage the relationship
- Rekindle physical intimacy, sensuality and passion
- Experience more joy, spontaneity and fun together